The holidays are a time for nostalgia — stories are told, memories
shared, new audiences enthralled. Please don’t let these moments go by
without capturing them for future generations of your family – and even
for your community!

We have just passed through the Thanksgiving or harvest holidays and
coming up are winter celebrations. Think about planning how to document
the stories told by your older relatives, and ways you can get them to
talk.

Many of you have probably been involved in formal oral history
projects, or in more informal “let’s get grandma to talk for the
camera” projects at home. It’s tricky, because you really need to
ferret out the information in a way that makes your subject
comfortable. Plenty of older people love to reminisce, but others feel
very awkward about “being recorded before they die.”

Some of my friends hail from an oral history tradition and the stories
survive through the generations. But many of us do not, and the stories
are lost if they are not somehow documented.

What is the most respectful way to gather information from your elder
subjects, and who should do it?

Some ideas:

• Agree ahead of time that you and some of your siblings or cousins
will engage with your relatives in a conversation about what it was
like growing up where they did, what their parents were like, what
stories they remember hearing as a child, what school and work were
like, what they remember about important moments in history, and so on.
At some point, the conversation will flow and the colorful stories will
emerge. Perhaps you can start the conversation one day, and continue it
the next. Your relatives will remember things the more they think about
your questions. Then, all of you interviewers need to write down what
you heard and compare notes to make sure you didn’t miss anything.

• If your subjects agree to be audio or video taped so much the better!
You can tape them being interviewed by you, or perhaps telling stories
directly to the youngest relatives who are present. That might make the
stories flow more naturally. Perhaps they sing, or play an instrument.

Then, what will you do with the information? It might become a small
book, a CD, a short video, or part of a town-wide local history
project. The first step is to gather the information so you have it.
You will also want to write a brief biographical sketch of each person
who was interviewed, and make sure you have images, past and present.

If only…

During the Thanksgiving weekend I sent out a Facebook message urging
“friends” to have these conversations during their holiday gatherings.
The response I received took me by surprise. I heard dozens of stories
about how much people wish they had interviewed a certain relative
before he or she passed away. I also heard stories from people who had
done just that, and how much it meant to show younger relatives a
videotape of great granddad – especially since the World War II
generation is disappearing fast.

In my own family, I wish more than anything we had interviewed my
beloved grandfather who lived to 101, his sister, my great aunt, and my
grandmother, all of whom led full and interesting lives. I wish I could
watch home movies of them right now, or read their reminiscences. The
next generation, my mother’s generation, is still young enough to tell
stories about them so that’s where we can pick up the threads. But our
generation can really do it right, and I hope we will.

Speaking as a historian, biographies are wonderful, but it’s the
personal reminiscences that make our hearts sing. Please have at it,
and have fun!